I Struggle Too

I’ve been posting a lot over the past month about being your best self, about loving who you are and about being positive and confident. I think often people assume that when I write things like this it’s because I am feeling great and self-confident and I want to spread that feeling to others. Often this is true, but often I need the reminder as well.

I am not free of doubt, I don’t love myself every day, I don’t always feel confident in who I am or what I’m capable of. I struggle with these types of feelings every single day – some days only briefly and some days, well, it’s rough. Life is often referred to as a “journey” and that is so true when it comes to your own path towards embracing who you are and loving yourself.

Some days I can feel so confident and on top of the world. Other days I feel completely unworthy, not good enough and that I don’t deserve the things I dream of. This past weekend brought up a lot of old emotions – I’ve always loved the idea of Valentine’s Day, but when the actual day comes all the self-doubt and self-hate that I used to feel every day comes washing back over me.

I should prepare myself – I should know it’s coming. Satan has no new tricks, he does the same thing over and over until he breaks you down. Luckily I have some great friends who pull me back up when I start to fall into his trap. Friends who remind me to stay focused on my purpose, on God’s love for me and on how blessed my life really is.

So that’s why I write these posts. I know what it feels like to struggle. I know what it feels like to doubt yourself, to think you’re not good enough. I want to be a friend to you; a friend to remind you not to listen to those voices in your head and to see yourself for who you really are: a unique and beautiful person worthy of love and joy.

Everyone needs a lift now and then, don’t be afraid to reach out for it.

What’s your “Why?”

Whenever you set out on a difficult path, or really any path where you might come across resistance, it’s important to know your “Why.” Without having a reason behind your goal it’s more than likely you will give up when things get rough. It is important to have a “Why” that will truly sustain you, and not something that will change or make you feel inadequate if you aren’t perfect.

Many people say they want to lose weight because they want to be “skinny” or they want to gain muscle for a competition or be thinner and more fit to attract a man or woman. Usually it has to do with feeling accepted by the people and the society around us, but no matter what your reasoning, none of these are really good enough to sustain you through the most trying of times.

I was listening to a sermon a couple weeks ago in which the pastor said your success is only as sustainable as your source. This made a lot of sense to me when it came to fitness and health – why do I want to lose weight and gain muscle? Because of how I look or because of how I feel? Do I want to do it to impress those around me? If your success is dependent on someone else’s opinion of you, or even in comparison to society’s opinion of health, fitness and beauty, then your success is only as sustainable as their opinion is.

During my last semester of college I decided that once and for all I was going to lose weight. I was sick of being bigger than all my friends, I was sick of being self conscious, I just wanted to take control. Well, I did. And I lost a lot of weight, fast. I didn’t eat enough, I exercised constantly, and it slowly grew over the next year to the point where I felt in control, but really was completely out of control. My success was 100% based on the scale and how small I was – all I cared about was how thin I looked to everyone else. Well guess what? I gained it all back, and then some.

This story isn’t a warning about how not to lose weight – it’s to show that my reasoning was entirely based on the flesh: on the ideals of this world and not God’s ideals. Rather than living a life in the image of Christ, I lived a life of obsession and self-hatred. Thankfully, once I really accepted Jesus as my savior, I realized that there is nothing about me to hate – that I am so very loved no matter what clothing size I wear or how I look in photos or how I size up to friends.

My source is now God’s will – I seek physical fitness to feel good in my body, to be strong and capable of whatever path He puts me on, and to reach out to others who may be going through the same struggles that I went through. My worth is no longer defined by my looks but by Christ’s sacrifice for me. No matter how I look, how long I workout, what I eat or wear – I am loved. I choose to treat my body well because it is a gift from God. A beautiful gift from God, exactly how He made me.

It’s the same for each and every one of you. YOU were made to be unique and special. Your body, your personality, your passions in life are all gifts from God. So embrace who you are and use His love to fuel your purpose and your goals.


Thursday Thoughts

1. Who is ready for the weekend? THIS GIRL! Especially ready because I get President’s Day off so I actually have a good amount of time to have fun, to relax and to get some stuff done!

2. Starting Monday I’ll be hosting a little Faith & Fitness Challenge Group through Facebook. It’s seven days (Mon – Sun), totally free and pretty low key. I’ve already got about 15 in the group but I would love some more, especially readers! I usually announce these kinds of things on Instagram, so if you are ever interested, be sure to follow me!

3. Speaking of social media, one of my good friends who I text with a lot just got Snapchat, so my love for the app has been reinvigorated! Haha now I have a good small group to snap with and it makes the day a little more interesting!


4. So apparently I ordered a new Duvet Cover from Groupon Goods..? I remember ordering the sheets but I have no recollection of the duvet cover. Oh well, I’ve been looking for one so this works! Anyway, I’ve been looking for the actual duvet to put in there and they are SO EXPENSIVE! Granted I want one that’s SUPER fluffy, but really…


5. I love turning Valentine’s Day into “Galentine’s Day” (Gals = friends!) so I put together a little Galentine’s Girls Night at one of my favorite wine bars – Eduardo’s Enoteca! We had a great time catching up and of course I got my favorite, the Sparkling Flight!


6. Still trying to get in those lunchtime walks! I’ve had a harder time leaving work for them, but it makes me feel so reenergized to get outside and moving for a bit!


7. Love Grown sent me my own box of Love O’s and they are SO GOOD! It’s mostly chocolate heart-shaped cereal with little strawberry hearts. I am definitely a fan!



8. Have a great Thursday!



Are you a fan of Valentine’s Day? What are you doing to celebrate? 

Do you use a quilt, comforter or duvet & cover? 

The Days of Our Lives…

Sometimes we have bad days where all we can think about is getting to the end so it’s over. Sometimes we put all of our energy into one important day that we can’t believe how quickly the days went before hand. And sometimes we have those amazing days where we just wish they’d never end.

Each of these days add up to months, which add up to the years that create our lives, and often we feel like this time flies by much too quickly. Before you know it you’ve found yourself a year or two later and not where you wanted to be. It’s important to pay attention to those little minutes, because that’s where we make the real changes in our lives.

The world is made up of little things: atoms make molecules, cells make organisms, bricks make buildings, etc. If you’re building the big thing out of the wrong little thing, or not putting any care into the little things, then the product won’t be what you want it to be.

We need to pay attention to the little things we do every day – our habits, how we spend our time, our choices – because they make up more of who we are than we realize. If you want to change your life then you need to change the things you do during the minutes.

So what do you want for your life? Where do you see yourself in a month? In 6 months? In a year? Are you taking the steps that you need to take every day to get there?

Your life is sacred and important. You are the only “you” that will ever exist – make the most of it!