July 25, 2017
Alright, alright, it's here!
If you missed Part One, go back and check that one out first. But now, it's time for Part 2, which is all about what I've been doing recently with health and fitness (i.e. eating and exercise).
In part one, I talked about how I've backed away from coaching because I've been going through a lot personally and I not only wanted to keep to myself more but coaching started to feel disingenuous since I wasn't really sharing my story. Well, because of my history of disordered eating, it's no surprise that those kinds of negative thoughts have been coming back up as life got more stressful and my anxiety increased. While I have been working with people to help me get to the root of my negative thinking and learn to reframe false beliefs, it's not an overnight fix.
I've been reading blogs like Robyn's for years, knowing what it looks like to have a good relationship with food but putting it in the back of my mind. Only recently did it really click. I read a couple posts thinking, "That's me! She's describing me" and it made me realize that I don't have it all together and it was time for a change.
I love following fitness programs, whether Beachbody or anything else, but I've learned that for right now, doing any program 100% isn't in my best interest. I need to focus my energy on reframing my thoughts and developing a healthier relationship with food and keep fitness something I do for fun and because I want to - not because I feel like I have to so I can achieve any kind of goal. For so long now, I thought I'd gotten past all of these struggles but life throws us curveballs and when things are hard it's easy to revert back to old patterns. Patterns are familiar and comforting, even if they're destructive.
I've been on this trajectory of backing away from too much nutrition and fitness structure for about three months now and I know I've made the right choice. I'm still doing workouts, I'm still loving my Beachbody team and I'm even in our big team challenge group this month just for the positive energy. But I've also been taking steps to heal the source of the issue, and even though it's hard to back away a little from something I actually enjoy, I know it's worth it in the grand scheme of my life.
To be honest, I was (am) very hesitant to share all of this on here. I mean really, who shares all of these personal details on the internet? But I pushed publish because I know it's important to share our struggles and let other people know they aren't alone.
There may be many other women out there who are pushing themselves forward pretending that nothing is wrong or hoping it will all just go away once they lose those last 10 lbs, finish school, get a job, meet the perfect guy, or whatever it is that they're wishing for. All those surface level things won't fix the way you think about yourself, so take a step back and look at the bigger picture. If what's best for you is backing away, know that gaining a little weight and losing some of your fitness now to fix your mental and physical health is worth it in the long run.
If you want to read more on this general topic (not everything applies to me, I just liked reading them), here are a few articles to check out: