Who Do You Want To Be?

Oct 22, 2013

About six weeks ago, Clare wrote a post about her motivation to recover from her eating disorder. Part of her reasoning was that she thought about the women that she admired most and realized their appeal had nothing to do with their looks, but entirely about their personality, their work and their talent.

Her thoughts stuck with me over the past several weeks, and the concept of being like those I admire was always in the back of my mind. I had intended to write this post weeks ago, but it wasn’t until recently that I really sat down and thought about what I wanted to say and, more importantly, who I want to be.

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As many of you know, I’m in a difficult point in my life. I’m in limbo between being a law student and figuring out where I fit in the world, finding a job and becoming an “adult.” I haven’t been handling it very well; getting overly stressed and anxious, feeling lost and confused, all which has resulted in several bad days and one not so fun anxiety attack.

However, as I sat down at my desk early Saturday morning, I decided that even though I can’t control everything, there are many things that I can work on right now. I need to stop focusing on feeling like I’m not good enough and start focusing on how I can improve my life through my actions and mindset. Then I reflected on people that I admire and really envisioned who I wanted to be in my daily life, writing down a list as I went.

Some of these are serious, some are a little vain, and others very personal to my own journey, but I hope that sharing my list with you will help you to think about the kind of person you want to be.

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I see… a woman who is often smiling and cracking jokes, who doesn’t take things too seriously.

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I see… a woman who knows how to work hard, how to inspire her colleagues and how to produce results and be productive.

I see… a woman who is fit and healthy, who can go for a run or take a workout class whenever she feels like it without worrying about not having energy or having a bloated stomach from over-eating.

I see… a woman who sees food as fuel and as something to appreciate and enjoy, not as an activity to cope with boredom or emotions.

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I see… a woman who has great style and class, a woman who enjoys fashion for fun and confidence, and not as a way for others to judge her.

I see… a woman who, when speaking with others, makes everyone feel important through listening and focusing completely on that person without distractions.

I see… a woman who remembers the little things about people and who takes the time to send cards, gifts and thoughtful notes.

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I see… a woman who does her best, loves the little things in life, and who embraces every moment and seizes every opportunity without anxiety or worry about doing enough or being enough.

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