March 30, 2015
Every part of our lives falls into a season. Sometimes we have seasons of learning, seasons of joy, seasons of humbling and seasons of sorrow and pain. It's a snowball, an accumulation; to go through all of these experiences at once would be overwhelming, which is why we find ourselves learning in broken down periods throughout our lives.
But something I learned through my Philippians study is that with each season you need to find your joy because there is joy in all of it - everything we go through in life makes us who we are in the next season. A little over a year ago I wrote about my season of humbling. What I didn't know then was that my "season of humbling" ended up being one of the most important seasons of my life. I learned to be confident in myself and my journey without leaning on the opinions of others, I learned how to not worry so much about the future because that's not in my hands, and I learned to give my life over to God and stop trying to take control of everything.
But just like all seasons, it came to an end and I find myself in something entirely new. In the past several months I have become even more confident in who I am as a person, and I really like myself. I have figured out that most of the time other people's actions are about them, not about me, and to not take everything so personally. I also feel like I found my purpose in life, my calling. It has taken me years, but slowly I have come to the realization that I am most happy when I am counseling others, when I'm helping other people. Looking back, I've always known this: I joked I'd be a perfect personal assistant, I joked about being a "life coach" for friends, I've always found ways to feel empathetic even though I hadn't actually been in that person's shoes, and I often share advice even when it's not necessarily wanted...
My struggle now is where do I go from here? I know what I want to do and I found ways to do it, perhaps not conventional, but I have big dreams; real, concrete, written down dreams. I want to spend every waking moment working towards the dreams. The problem? The real world. Rent, bills, health insurance, responsibility and location.
I know what I want but I don't know the steps to get there. So this season is about working hard for my dreams when and where I can, and praying that I'll see the steps I need to take as God lays them out for me.