Aug 9, 2016
Something I've been working on over the past year is a belief I seem to hold that I am not good enough for the things I want in my life. I've realized, from talking with many other women and clients, that many of us hold this belief, although often people don't realize it until they do a little soul-searching.
I was chatting with a client the other day and we started talking about the fear of both success and failure. I remember when I first heard that fear of success was even a thing: "Why in the world would I FEAR being successful?! That's what I want!" But when it comes down to it, many of us fear success because we're afraid that if we hit that end goal, we'll then fall back down because we aren't able to keep up with the higher expectations. The subconscious beliefs we've had in our minds since we were young tell us that it's better to live in our comfort zones with low expectations than have high expectations placed on us because we'll only fail.
As I read more of You Are A Badass, it all started to make a little more sense, these beliefs we have without even realizing that we do:
We take in information via the words, smiles, frowns, heavy signs, raised eyebrows, tears, laughter, etc., of the people surrounding us with zero ability to filter any of it, and it all gets lodged in our squishy little subconscious minds as the “truth" ...the subconscious mind believes everything because it has no filter, it doesn’t know the difference between what’s true and what’s not true.
This fear of success and failure manifests in our lives through self-sabotage. Have you ever gone through school or a certification program only to give up before the end or never use your degree? Have you ever followed a workout program and stopped trying after you started seeing results? I HAVE! I've realized that I try so hard at the beginning, but right when I start to see results I pull back out of fear. Yes, I love the results, but subconsciously I pull myself back into my comfort zone. I don't want to do too well because what happens then? How do I keep it up?
Fear of the unknown is an incredible force in our lives.
You can't imagine the number of people who I know would benefit tremendously from a new workout program or Shakeology, but when I bring up the topic or even after they've decided to take a chance on themselves and go for it, I suddenly get crickets.
It's so hard to put ourselves out there. It's so hard to push ourselves to be our absolute best when we don't know what's going to happen once we cross that comfortable threshold. But what if I fail? What if I succeed - then what?? We just have to take the leap and find out, or be content with living our lives in mediocrity, always wishing for something more and blaming everything but ourselves for not being able to reach it.
As I mentioned earlier, this fear and belief I'm not good enough is something I've recognized in myself for well over a year now and, as they say, admitting you have a problem is the first step.
Can you believe I'm actually scared to type these next sentences??
I'm ready to push myself into the unknown. I'm ready to be the best person I can be, no matter how scary and uncomfortable it might be getting there.
There is a little voice in my head SCREAMING at me right now to delete that statement, to stay where I am and be content because I know this place and I know I am okay here. But I'm done with being okay.
BE QUIET LITTLE VOICE!
I'd say it's time for some prayer and a lot of hard work.